"Uh - I ate both of those, but more of the melon. I think. I remember eating the first one and then, um..." He trails off and lifts one shoulder in a sheepish shrug.

"And like. I was gonna throw the rind away, because that's what you're supposed to do with melons, right? But after I ate the soft part the rind looked really, really good so I, um. I ate it too." God, there is no part of this that isn't utterly mortifying.

"I felt mostly okay for a while, y'know, aside from tasting colors and stuff, but - " He pauses again, eyes narrowing as though trying to recall something, and then says with some chagrin: "I licked a rock. Could that have made things worse?"

Licking rocks never makes things better, surely.